A storm advisory

Poetry prowess warning in effect. Bunkering to commence at 2:00 PM at the Club. A store of newly winterized poets has been laid in and pretested to sustain large crowds of peers and East Village refugees until 4:00, with additional salting of the stage till 6:00 by vetran poetry forecasters. All have been found to meet if not exceed the Emergency Poetry Broadcast Systems requirements for major poetry conditions. Teas, coffees, and hot apple cider will be available, as well as selection of insulating liquors and brews. Stage lighting and operational heat will be increased to combat record low temps, and the club's velvet draperies are expected to provide additional buffering against the Bleecker Street bluster and gusts of up to 35 mph out of Joey Ramone Place. Poets and attendees are encouraged to dress appropriately in loose layers of lightweight clothing under waterproof outerwear and hoods, preferably in purple, complete with shoes or boots designed for traction in icy conditions. Experts suggest clapping and even mild hooting to help combat snow blindness and hypothermia. The traditional "poetry moan" has not proven effective in cases of major storms.



Um, we think.