I am temporarily parking archived blog posts here while I redesign my site and change servers. For current content, please visit blog.shannacompton.com.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Seems like an appropriate time...

...to post "the Hillary Clinton" poem from For Girls:

We Know She Knows about Her Elephantine Legs

I can understand trousers are comfortable
but she's a woman.
She should ditch the blobby trousers
to hide her fat veiny legs
& make it easier to find her penis.

She should ditch the Botox
She should ditch that Puritan look
She should ditch the dude and BE IN SCHOOL
She should ditch her third husband fast
ditch her asshole father
ditch her overgrown lips
ditch her personal relationship with Jesus
ditch her Mimi-like makeup & booze
ditch her overzealous manager & production team
She should ditch the creep who knocked her up
& try dating someone who's actually into her.
She looks like a big black garbage bag filled too full.

But she did the skirt anddress thing.
Now it's time to put on the big girl pants
and kick some ass.
How about a bag over her face and a gag in her mouth?
She should A) lay off the tanning beds,
B) stop dressing like a Vegas call girl,
C) give up on the white lipsticks,
andfinally D) dig up some sturdy, thick man legs
supporting a desperate piercing sound.
How appealing.

She needs a big helping
of shut-the-fuck-up
and an extra dose of shawl or small detailing
so she can look as smart as she is.
If she’d just try a little EXERCISE.
The American People just want
to tap that feminine side
(except the cankles)
all the way to the White House.

Note: "I can understand (trousers) are comfortable but she's a woman and she is allowed to show that," remarked Italian fashion designer Donatella Versace in Die Zeit, February 8, 2007, speaking of presidential candidate Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and her infamous pantsuits. The poem mines comment-stream responses to this so-called news as they appeared on the Huffington Post website, mixing them with similarly phrased "she should ditch" advice for women supplied by an Internet search engine.


And I collected these bits well over a year and a half ago--I could come up with much worse if I googled now. See, sexism is not a problem. You ladies should just shush.

Also, see this article for the historical context re: her role at the convention, since the MSM seems hellbent on omitting it as they continue to flog away. If you're too lazy to read it, let's just sum it up: Since 1972, 11 runner-up candidates' names have been entered in nomination and more than that have spoken at the convention. When Jesse Jackson was in the same position, he gave his convention speech *without ever explicitly endorsing* Michael Dukakis. But I guess he didn't have offensive cankles or an impaired fashion sense.