Texmas 12

1. Thursday AM: Get bumped from oversold outgoing flight, along with at least a dozen other people.

2. Thursday PM: Get on the next flight out, barely. Unlike dozen other people. Luggage is not so lucky. File report. Reach Mom's place at last. Thrill Mom & dogs. Nice tree. Have eggnog. Later: Last-minute shopping in a suprisingly successful two stops.

3. Friday AM: Still no bag. Emergency trip to Target for changes of clothes & basics. Carefully avoid the mall area by plotting intricate back-road routes.

4. Friday AM-PM: Drive to ridiculously crappy hometown of George Strait-tune/Mean Joe Green fame (3-hr drive each way) to see sister's family. Nieces & nephew treat us to a play. The angel Gabriel is played by a three-year-old in a Tinkerbell costume. The Optic Morpher is a major hit. After driving back, FedEx surprises with earlier delivery of olive tree for Mom. 6 ripe olives already! Dog eats 3. Begin 1000-piece Lord of the Rings jigsaw puzzle.

5. Saturday AM: Still no bag = no gifts for rest of family, more recycling of laundry for us. More LoR jigsaw madness.

6. Saturday PM: Turkey & fixins with Mom, sis, sis's boyfriend & hubby. Hubby & Mom butt heads about theology and science politely if somewhat drunkenly. Luggage (intact and bearing gifts!) finally arrived at 10 p.m. delivered by Santa. LoR puzzle beginning to resemble picture on box.

7. Sunday AM-PM: Drove out to see Father Figure & his wife at the ranch (1 hr each way). Greeted by them, plus various exotic deer, antelope, buffalo, emus, one rainbow trout, & one striped bass. Unable to find longhorns despite thorough search via golf cart. Hubby snapped cheapo rod & reel. [Photos to come.] Watched the Cowboys win, barely. Feasted on steaks. Returned to Mom's and LoR puzzle. That thing is a bitch.

8. Monday AM: Unable to pack pillow-top mattress pad or many additions to Pez dispenser collection despite vaccuum-assisted space saver bags. Give up. One last turkey sandwich.

9. Monday PM: Flight delayed. Mom calls from home to say she's finished the damn puzzle.

10. Monday PM later: Flight delayed. Solve two Sunday NYT crosswords. Reluctantly eat airport grub.

11. Monday PM later: Finally. Drink red wine on plane. Consider never doing this again.

12. Pretty much Tuesday AM: Arrive home just seconds before frozen wandering guests who've flown in from Portland, OR and have also been subject to many delays. Eat magic cookies and whip up early morning fritatta from meager groceries on hand.